relationships

One more chance

What is born, dies one day. Be it living beings or relationships.

There are numerous quotes, philosophies and books on the cycle of life and death.

It is said that the most surprising thing about human beings is that they live like they will never die. Human beings also live like their loved ones are not going to die either. In this process, we take everyone for granted. And one day, death calls them, to make them it’s own. And when they leave, we are left wanting. Wanting one more chance.

One more chance to meet them

One more chance to hug them

One more chance to talk to them

One more chance to love them

But there would be no more chances. They have gone. Leaving a huge void in our heart, in our life. Every death brings us a lesson to value the living more but we value it only till the pyre burns (श्मशान वैराग्य we call it). For once, maybe we will learn the lesson better. Don’t wait for death to realise the value of your loved ones.

A Perfect Date

Alan Rickman married a woman he was in a relationship with for almost 50 years. Newspapers reported it as Alan marries Rima after 50 years of dating. Hello! You don’t date someone for 50 years! Date is just an appointment with someone (usually romantic) In my opinion, dating could be only in the beginning of a relationship, rather when one is not sure if they want to be in a relationship. Post that you just do things together with mutual agreement. 😉

Dating is a very exciting concept (Indian men are yet to get a complete hang of it) You meet someone new, get to know them, get to know their likes and dislikes and all this is based on what you are doing on a date. It can be a basic movie and dinner date, a dessert date, an adventure trip, a picnic, a night of stargazing.

A perfect date could be very subjective though. It depends on if the activity chosen is liked by both and how much they are enjoying those moments.

A perfect date does not necessarily mean an expensive occasion. You can have fun walking around the city / sipping coffee doing nothing but talking. You can just share an ice cream together (it definitely brings out the child in you 😉 ) This is definitely what I prefer. Simple joys. 🙂

The purpose of a date is to get to know each other and see how comfortable you are in each other’s company. Small details matter more than showing off of money. Keep it simple but once in a while indulge in something luxurious. Always smell nice.

And girls, don’t let guys do all the efforts. Contribute equally 😀

A Perfect Date!

                     A Perfect Date!

Being Cougar. Not.

A 42 year old man marries a 32 year old woman. A 34 year old man marries a 23 year old girl. Apart from child-cradle-snatching jokes, nothing happens. This is considered to be very normal after all.

Now consider the reverse – a 40 year old woman marries a 30 year old man. How would you react? I will tell you. They would say she wants to be Madonna. She would be termed as a Cougar & other nasty words.

Why nasty, you ask. Well Madonna dates younger boys for flings not for a healthy relationship. Cougars are supposed to be predators. Do they have similar word for a man? No.

They say women mature early & hence they want to have a relationship with older man. Let’s assume this to be true for a moment. It might be true in general but what about exceptions? Why can’t a guy be more mature than a woman older than him?

I am not buying that argument though. Why anyone wants to be in a relationship with someone is purely based on how someone connects with someone. Maturity / similarities / dissimilarities do not matter. Don’t we see so many apparently mis-matched couples? If society had a way, they would have never paired up.

My neighbour is way shorter than his wife. I have never seen them feeling awkward while walking together on the street. A woman co traveller in a Mumbai local is very fat & tall. Her husband is very thin. My college friend married a guy who drives auto for living. I can go on and on. All these are of course examples of happy marriages.

The best example is of my rakhi brother. My brother is not much educated, was a mere salesman in a shop when he met my sister in law & has a very dark complexion. The woman he fell in love and married to is fair & beautiful, graduate & from a well to do family and hold your breath! 5 years elder to him! I have been witness to their relationship right from the beginning. And know for a fact that they are still very much in love and living a very happy life. It won’t be wrong to say that their story inspires me. They have taught me that when there is true love, nothing else matters and you can fight all the hurdles if you want to be together.

I am not saying that these kind of marriages / relationships would be always successful. But can we guarantee success of all society approved relationships?

Also, when you restrict older women dating younger men, you restrict their scope of dating to a miniscule number. Young guys are supposed to date only young girls / women and guys their age are also interested in younger women mostly.

Why not give everyone a freedom to date / marry whoever they want without judging them?

Dear women, who are older than the guys you like, don’t let other people’s opinions shadow your happiness. Remember, age is just a number. One life, live fully, love unabashedly 😉

 

 

Ties that bind us…

 

We had learnt in school “Man is a social animal”. At that point of time we did not give so much importance to the deeper meaning of the sentence.

But the more we grow, we realize how true the statement is..

This also is one of the reasons of the popularity of the “Social” Networking Sites :-) :-) :-)

A man is not satisfied with merely fulfilling his basic necessities..He needs something more than Food, Water & Shelter..He needs love, appreciation & validation. He also needs company..The company could be of family, friends, lover, children or even pets or books or any other hobbies..

A man needs a connection with someone..a relationship with an individual or a group to share their thoughts & feelings, to engage in activities together, to have fun together & ultimately to live their life together..

A man’s relationship starts when he is in the womb..that is his first relationship..with his mother..

As he opens his eyes in the real world, he gets some more relations..father, grandparents, brothers, sisters, & a whole bunch of extended family..

As he grows up, goes to school / college, he makes new relations..they are called friends..The ties with friends are much stronger because we choose whom we want to have a connection with.

And then one day he meets someone special..Someone who is made especially for him..This is the relationship he craves for..

Sometimes this relationship ends in marriage & begins with having kids..Life becomes a full circle for him then!

Buiilding a relationship is not an easy task though..There are various stages of a relationship..

  1. Acquaintance: Here, you come to know a person. If both of you like each other only then a relationship will proceed to next level.
  2. Buildup: You both already like each other. Now is the time to build care & trust for each other. Some common background & interests are required to sustain this stage.
  3. Continuation: Here a long term commitment is made be it for friendship, romantic relationship or marriage.
  4. Deterioration: Sometimes a relationship is not able to sustain..it starts deteriorating..you lose interest in the other person or vice-versa, or there is some distrust, fights, dis-harmony, etc. Whatever the reason..but from here the relationship can go to two stages..through resolving problems & issues back to stage 3 or else to stage 5
  5. Termination: The final stage marks the end of the relationship either by death or separation..

It is beautiful to have so many relationships around us. They make the journey of life much more beautiful..

A caring mom, a protective dad, a loving sister, a pampering brother, a friend who is all of these & more, a lover, husband, kids…also nosy neighbours (love to share a cup of sugar with some hot gossip) ;-)

Some relationships are beyond labels though..They are the best ones :-)

Blood Relations, Soul Relations, Need Relations, whatever the type maybe but Har ek relation Zaroori Hota hai!!!

Relationships are very special..

When they are new they are exciting..

When they are old they are comforting..

And when they are dead, they become Cherished Memories…