After a couple of months of stewing and overthinking and generally being negative about myself, I am finally feeling free and relaxed. Most possibly the healing energy that I have been sent and the affirmations I have been chanting have worked. I am also more at peace after I wrote Exit Stage Left I am now ready to exit the stage if I have to.

I was really scared for a while. Scared to lose what I already love and what I have grown to love. That’s my biggest fear. To lose the one I love. Reason I care for validation. Reason I want to impress. Reason I don’t want anyone to see my ugly side. To not lose that love. To not let them feel that I am not worthy of their love. I got this epiphany while watching “Nobody wants this” Digressing, but I love the show. I think it’s one of the best on screen romance after Phoebe and the Hot Priest (Look up Fleabag if you haven’t) I just hope it doesn’t turn sad like Fleabag did. Coming back to the epiphany..

I have always been a big believer of love. For me, love is the truest and best emotion. Maybe you cannot define love like it is a scientific principle, but for me love is happiness. I am the happiest when I am with people I love, when I do things that I love. For me love also is magic. Love transforms people. I cannot deny that I have been blessed with love all my life but the big great love that I wanted in my life has always eluded me and over past few years I have learnt to accept that I am never going to get that. The one who believes in love and it’s magic, universe and it’s signs has stopped believing that she ever can get the love she desires. And the epiphany is that by thinking and saying I will never get this, I have allowed it to manifest. I have blocked love out of my own doing.

I will undo this. I will bring the love that is meant for me back in my life. The energy of love that I have been feeling will guide me to it.

The point of this post is, we often deny ourselves things because we don’t see this happening to us, for us. We think we don’t deserve it or we are not worth it. And thus block things for ourselves. We shut the door tight ourselves. If you have been doing this, remember that it is never too late. It is not late to open that door and step foot in the land of magic and happiness!