So many movies to watch and somehow weekends pass without watching them.
This Saturday planned to watch one post lunch as a plan of going out got cancelled.
After lunch, I realised parents might want to nap.
I asked them whether they have any plans of sleeping. If so, we can watch movie in the evening.
Mom and dad both denied vehemently. Dad even said even if we feel sleepy, movie will ensure we don’t.
It’s half an hour since the movie started and dad is fast asleep. Total ROFL moment!
As I opened my office mailbox, I got a notification saying you have one junk mail.
That made me think about all the junk / spam mails we receive on a daily basis on all of our inboxes, whichever mail client we might be using. Apart from brands selling products, telecom companies, insurance, property, etc etc, we also have some very lucrative mails from Nigerian princes and Cola companies offering us share in a large sum of money or lottery prizes.
These junk mails are bad for our electronic / financial health. We might lose money if it is a scam or it might lead to getting our computers infected with virus (Remember the time you clicked links of hot pics and then you had to get your computer formatted? 😉 )
A small percentage of people (I hear actor Karan Grover was a recent victim) still fall prey to these scam mails. Rest of us prudently ignore (and organised ones like me, shift + delete them)
How different are these junk mails from junk food? Not different really. Just like junk mails can destroy our data / money, junk food slowly and steadily destroys our health and of course money.
Just like we be prudent about ignoring a junk mail, why don’t we try to ignore junk food too?
Thoughts?
We all remember this scene from Tom & Jerry, don’t we?
Tom & Jerry taught us Mouse is scared of cats and cats are in turn scared of dogs.
In real life though, I have seen cats being scared by mighty rats and dogs being scared by mighty cats.
One may think it is not about the species though. It could be because of the size. After all, might is right, they say.
One scene I witnessed recently made me think about the whole situation though.
I was passing by a market & saw that a pile of meat waste and severed chicken head were lying on the road.
A cat was lapping it up hungrily. Natural, isn’t it?
But what I saw next blew my mind!
A dog was waiting behind the cat as if waiting for her to finish the meal so that he can gorge on the leftovers.
Isn’t it an example of perfect camaraderie?
I would have clicked their pic but it would have disturbed the whole scene.
The memory of that scene would be forever etched in my mind though!
Do share if you have witnessed any such incidents 🙂
What’s Up??
Ceiling / Fan / Sky / Clouds
Chances are all of us have answered in this fashion one time or the other. But how long do you keep answering in the same way? Sooner or later you get tired & the answers sound lame even in your head.
I thought someone should make a list of creative answers for this question and then thought why not me? Let’s think of some answers which are not lame and are non vulgar 😛
✔ Tell them actually what’s up. What are you up to lately. That’s gonna surprise them for sure 😉
✔ Nothing much. Just chilling. or NMJC if you will
✔ Ask them What’s Up? (Yeah questions can be answers to questions & as if they actually want to know what’s up with you *rolls eyes*)
✔ I think I just saw an asteroid / comet up there
✔ And if you really don’t want them to ask that question again, rant about taxes being up and your BP being low, the inflation being up & your salary being low, etc etc
Are you depressed because people are fat shaming you?
Do you go & indulge into an ice cream sundae when you don’t get a dress you like in your size?
Do you think only in dreams you can get that hottie you see everyday to like you?
Do you think Fat is Ugly?
Then this post is for you.
Let me break the myth for you in the first line. Fat is not ugly. Fat is Fabulous. Here’s why:
❤ Fun: Have you noticed how people start smirking, making jokes on you & calling you funny names? If it weren’t for fat people, where would they get their daily dose of humour? Laughter is supposed to be world’s best medicine & hence you are one of the best doctors!
❤ Service to Mankind: Most people in the world love to give advices. And Fat people are the ones who are easy audience. Everyone knows weight loss tips & they know fat people would listen to them in a hope of finding a miracle. You give chance to people to do what they love the most! Isn’t it a great service to humankind?
❤ Reduce Competition: Fat people are obviously not attractive & hence less no chance of getting opposite sex’s attention & hence less competition for thin people to get someone they desire! Also, aunties of the family know no one would marry the fat kid of the family & they would get more time to make matches for the deserving ones!
❤ Friends of Doctors: Fat people are the ones who would get all types of lifestyle diseases. High cholesterol, Diabetes, Heart troubles, Joint pains & what not. Also lazy as they are, they would try lots of shortcuts to lose weight. Guess who gets lots of business? 🙂
❤ Livelihood: Food business & Fuel Industry depends largely on fat people. Since Fat people consume 10 times of food what normal people eat & also since they can’t walk & have to rely on auto & cabs, they fuel livelihood of people in this industry! Who’s the boss now? 😉
❤ Dieting inducers: Since fat people consume so much food, so little is left for others. They might not be great at losing weight, but they surely help other people diet & keep their weight in check. (y)
❤ Clothes: Being XXXL in size, they also fuel the economy of textile manufacturers as they would need huge volume of fabric to cover their massive body!
Are you still reading? Do you still need to know why Fat is Fab? Look into the mirror, think of these points, smile & face the world with confidence! 🙂 🙂 🙂
By now everyone knows what a selfie is, I guess. It is a photograph taken by self of self but not necessarily for self 😉 Mostly like self portraits that were prevalent amongst painters some decades / centuries ago.
Taking selfies are supposed to be a narcissistic activity. And I have to sheepishly confess that I have been indulging in that a lot lately. It all started when I wanted to have more new pics for DPs on various social networking sites & no one around to click any.
Few experiments showed that I looked better in my selfies than in the photographs people clicked of me. Since then there is no stopping me & there I go click click click!!
Visit my Instagram profile to check my selfies out 😉
I returned home tired & hungry. While having dinner, mom said eat your food, I need to talk to you later. Her tone was serious.
I was worried. Maybe she is having some health issue. Maybe she needs some money. In 10 minutes I thought of all the possible reason mom would want to talk to me!
I finished my dinner in a jiffy & asked her to tell me what’s bothering her.
In a heart broken tone, She said I have added my friend in whatsapp but I am not able to send her forwards. Also I am not able to complete this level of Candy Crush.
I was like!!!
Exactly that!! Mom! You don’t use such serious tones for silly things like Whatsapp & Candy Crush! Pliss to Note!!
Some time back I had written about my Cynophobia.
Well fate gave me a chance to be around dogs for some time. I am staying at my sister’s place for quite a while. This place is a heaven for dog lovers it seems. Every morning on my way to work, I encounter people walking their dogs, well behaved dogs. There are couple of strays with a litter of puppies around the garbage bin. No one bothers me & I can enjoy my morning walk. These dogs are also familiar to my sight it seems. Reason? I actually saw a poodle leap when he saw me & I swear I saw him smile! Also, a bitch ran towards me & I felt that urge to mother her 🙂
This made me realize, my equation with dogs is not that bad. Some dogs can love me too. I was dreaming of adopting a puppy who would love me to bits & I would raise it to be a good dog.
But Fate had other plans as usual.
One fine day, I was enjoying music, walking down the beautiful lane & admiring the new poodle that was jumping around. The lazy boy didn’t want to climb up the hill & he made his owner walk down again. It was a chubby little punk & I wanted to hold him & give him kisses coz he was sooooo adorable!!
And then I noticed a stray dog eyeing me. I was a bit scared & he must have realized it. He started chasing me. I was petrified & trying every ounce of control in my body not to run! I noticed a bus stop & hid behind the man that was standing there. Looking at my size not a good job obviously. The dog was waiting for me to come out of my hiding. Whenever I tried to move away he would follow suit. There was no one around to help me. After few minutes of this scary hell, there was a ray of sunshine. A dog walker came around & shooed away the dog & I could carry on my journey peacefully. That experience made me cry though (If you didn’t know already crying is the way I remove all the negative emotions from my heart) I also realized how much I missed my dad!! My dad is my hero. A. He never laughs at me because of my fright of dogs. B. He always chases them away for me. I so wished that my dad was around me that day to save me.
Anyhow, I am back to admiring dogs from afar. I don’t want them anywhere near me 🙁
We met, we fell in love, we dated & been together ever since.
How will I know if He is the prince in disguise of the frog or should I let him back in the water??
Here’s how:
1. The Big Mac Test: You have been out on dates, eating romantic dinners, where you have taken small morsels, eating elegantly. But when you are comfortable to eat a Big Mac (or Vada Pav in Mumbai) without him finding you any less sexy, He is the One.
2. The Jealousy Test: Girls tend to get jealous when their guys are talking to other girls. Both things perfectly normal. However, Guy will think the girl is crazy to get jealous. But when the guy knows I am getting jealous, smiles & kisses me for being so, He is the One.
3. The Fun Test: Usually girls don’t want guys to make fun of them. I would want to. Hell I am gonna give him lotsa opportunities to make fun of me. But!! When he is done laughing at my expense, he should come & hug me. If he does, He is the One.
4. The Hair Test: This is the ultimate one. Men have a tendency to leave their tiny hairs all around in the bathroom, once they are done showering. I find it extremely disgusting. If his hair doesn’t disgust me & I am cool to clean it up, He is the One.
And then I will hope I am the One for Him too <3
We all have heard about the awesome winters North Indians enjoy year on year. Stories of snow, Hot Alu parathas, matching sweaters & shawls, Bonfires are spread by Northies to make rest of India jealous. This is particularly the case for Delhi Vs Mumbai where Delhiites brag about their winters & Mumbaikars have to hide their sweaty faces in a corner.
But there is something which Mumbaikars don’t know. They actually don’t need the Winter season. Here’s why:
1. Bulky Sweaters / Cumbersome Shawls: Everyone knows Mumbai Locals / Best buses are life lines of Mumbaikars. And the only work out they get is running to catch their regular trains / buses. Imagine wearing two three layers of sweaters / shawls / mufflers & trying to catch the train / bus. Hurdles, right? You would not able to catch them anyhow or you might have to leave home earlier than usual. Also if you bulk up, you will take more space in the already much crowded train / bus 😉
2. Cold Water: Somehow you manage to catch the train / bus. But since you were running, you might be sweating as well & if you don’t take bath due to cold water (Heating water for entire family would be a time consuming / money consuming activity) you would be stinking as well.
3. Magnetic Bed: If you have to rush to catch your train / bus, you anyway have sacrificed some sleep in the process & if the weather is cold, you would not want to get out of the bed itself. And you can’t afford to be late for work now, can you?
4. Hot Weather In, Hot Pants Out: This one specially for men. If the weather is cold, the ladies would be fully covered & you wouldn’t know which one is a hot chick & which one is old aunty. So Rejoice the weather is HOT! 😉
See, Mumbaikars? You don’t need winters! 😉
Post Inspired by Shruti Vajpayee’s post on Campus Ghanta. http://www.campusghanta.com/2013/11/17/6-reasons-why-winters-are-awesome/
Jaise khichadi banti hai daal aur chawal ke adbhut sangam se aur khayi jaati hai chaar yar (ghee, dahi, papad aur achaar) ke saath, waise hi ye khichadi bani hai kucchh adbhut namunon ke saath..
Is khichadi ke mukhya patra:
Babuji: parivaar ke mukhiya – khaddos, kanjoos aur gussail..inka kaam hai sab pe chillana aur unka fav dialogue ha, jayashree chai bana rahi ho ya bahar se mangvaun??
Jayashree bhabhi: gossip ki maharani..jab garma garam gossip ho bantne ke liye to chai banae ki sudh kise rahe??
Prafull bhaiyya: babuji ke gadhe oops do number ke bete..inke dimaag ko sirf wo samajh sakte hain ya unki dharampatni..
Hansa bhabhi: prafull ki better half..inka pura waqt saaj singaar mein guzar jaata hai..waise angreji kamzor hai par prafull bhaiyya unki kami poori kar dete hain!
Raju: babuji ka sabse chhota beta..smart aur intelligent bas ek galti ki kadki se shaadi ki..
Melissa..melissa urf kadki bachchon ko padhate padhate raju ko prem ka paath padha gayi..khud ko bahut hoshiyaar samajhti hai par jayashree bhabhi ke aage ek nahin chalti..
Bhaveshkumar: ghar janvai urf bhukkadkumar..unka ek hi mantra hai..pura din munh chalna chahiye khaane ke liye..
Himanshu: hansa ke judvaa bhai..dimaag se..khaana acchha banate hain magar..
Parminder: ek aisi anokhi family se belong karte hain jahan sabke naam parminder hain..
Why this test match-u test match-u test match-u di??
5 days waste-u waste-u..
20-20 nice-u..
This song is for cheerleaders-u..
We don’t have choice-u..
This was my feeble attempt to make a parody of Kolaveri Di, which was a rage in 2011. This was inspired by a Ranji match I witnessed in none other than the Eden Gardens stadium, Kolkata. 🙂
What’s a Gutargooo?
Ans.: License to ask stupid questions with serious intensity to terrify twelebs & gain fame.
Example 1:
Guturgoo: Do you think your incapability of tweeting something on your own makes you harass a psycho-analyst?
Bhokali: Yes I do, because I don’t know what to do. :B
Guturgoo: Don’t you think a tweet from someone whose follower count doesn’t justify his no of tweets is harassment?
Bhokali: offo next koschan, next koschan!!! 😐
Guturgoo: What makes you so scared of questions? Is the root reason your failure to cope with exams?
Bhokali: Eh bien! No it is because my toothpaste doesn’t contain salt. 🙁
Guturgoo: Why do you need salt in toothpaste? Do you worship Asuras? Are you south indian?
Bhokali: I worship , chhaddo ji, sharm aawe hain naam lene mein :”>
Guturgoo: Why are you afraid of speaking the truth? Did someone tell you Harry Potter is a myth?
Bhokali: HARRY POTTER IS NOT A MYTH YOU MUGGLE! :'< (Guturgoo has found his weakness)
Guturgoo: Don’t you think you should introspect & analyse why you are delusional?
Bhokali: Nayh, kaun kare itna kaam! 😛
Guturgoo: Do you think being lazy will make you invisible from society?
Bhokali: No, on the contrary, it will make me phamuss in the society! B-)
Guturgoo: Is your ambition to be famous in society a revenge of neglect you faced in childhood?
Bhokali: On the contrary, I was paid a lot of attention during my childhood, which makes me keep expecting the same now too! 😀
Guturgoo: Are you desperately trying to thwart every coherent attempt that unmasks the darkness of your childhood you don’t want anyone to know?
*Bhokali faints*
Example 2:
Guturgoo: Do you think that if you act cute you will be accepted by society?
Bhokali: Why, was that not the social protocol of acceptance ? 😐
Guturgoo: Don’t you think you are delusional?
Bhokali: No I am not :3
Guturgoo: Don’t you think that by saying that you have proved you are delusional?
Bhokali: Being delusional and accepting the fact are two different things. I don’t accept I am delusional. Movies nhi dekhti kya :3
Guturgoo: Another proof that you are delusional. Do you know how many movies are funded by Islam Mafia?
Bhokali: No I don’t know , you tell me na? :’9
Guturgoo: Do you use weird smileys because they resemble your face?
Bhokali: You answer my koschan first. :B
Guturgoo: Your improper use of English reflects that your parents didn’t like you and so didn’t send you to school.
*Bhokali eating Roshogulla to calm himself*
And one more bites the dust! She gets a Sikka from her purse & puts it in the piggy bank & laughs wildly!!!
